Boss Takes a Break for B-day
As my birth month draws to a close, I have been savoring every day- because, that's right, I said birth MONTH, since I celebrate the wonder and beauty of myself for all 30 days!!
Luckily, most of my family and friends seem to be on board, and when someone wishes me a belated happy birthday, I just let them know they're still within the parameters of what I consider to be my birthday. 😋
Seriously, though, this month of celebrating myself just happened to coincide with some great opportunities for self-care, which is SO major, ladies!!
I'm speaking specifically to the women out there, because let's face it, science already let us know that women multitask better than men; just ask the Swiss. But with that great ability to multitask comes the stress of balancing all those plates at once, and now I can see how mothers, especially, seem to carry much of that stress stoically. My best friend is not only a wonderful mom to a darling little boy, but she's also wrapping up her 2nd year of law school, in the midst of a military move, oh, and by the way, GROWING A WHOLE NEW HUMAN!!! She has so gracefully managed all of these exciting and productive things in her life that it looks easy!
But we moms, and other women in general, know that it's not always easy. The stress and fatigue hit, and if you're not careful to include some physical and mental rest, that overwork can knock you on your ass at the most inopportune time.
This is why I'd like to recommend scheduling self-care. I know that it's easy to get into a routine and work yourself to the bones...but you have to be able to take a break, accept some help, and rest your mind before you jump back into the fray. Sometimes self-care looks like a spa day, a night out with friends, or even just a moment alone. I was telling hubs the other day that I had not been alone in our house with zero responsibility for another living being since I was pregnant...it's crazy to consider that! But I have been getting out to return to some of the things that I love, such as date night with hubs, a couple of nights out with a dear friend, and even some spa time with my mom.
We have been so fortunate to have family and friends close by to enable moments of self-care like those, which can be rare for a military family who may be far from a supportive family structure, and we are also blessed to have the time to schedule such events. I know that's not possible for everyone...but I would like to encourage an open mind when help is offered.
Sometimes, when a community is not ready-made to support you, you have to reach out and build your own. And you have to be able to accept help. Making that connection by accepting a little help can open up some doors for not just a possible babysitter in the future, but also some fellowship time with other ladies who know the struggle of a mom. That moment of clarity with another person in your shoes can be such a relief; it's that feeling when you know someone else is having the same anxiety and concerns as you, and it can actually lower your own stress just knowing you aren't alone. I know most of my female friends and family members are legit superwomen- I was raised by one, for sure- but you can accept a helping hand and you're still a superwoman. In fact, you can be better than before, because you can finally get something done now that you've been revived!!!
Luckily, most of my family and friends seem to be on board, and when someone wishes me a belated happy birthday, I just let them know they're still within the parameters of what I consider to be my birthday. 😋
Seriously, though, this month of celebrating myself just happened to coincide with some great opportunities for self-care, which is SO major, ladies!!
I'm speaking specifically to the women out there, because let's face it, science already let us know that women multitask better than men; just ask the Swiss. But with that great ability to multitask comes the stress of balancing all those plates at once, and now I can see how mothers, especially, seem to carry much of that stress stoically. My best friend is not only a wonderful mom to a darling little boy, but she's also wrapping up her 2nd year of law school, in the midst of a military move, oh, and by the way, GROWING A WHOLE NEW HUMAN!!! She has so gracefully managed all of these exciting and productive things in her life that it looks easy!
But we moms, and other women in general, know that it's not always easy. The stress and fatigue hit, and if you're not careful to include some physical and mental rest, that overwork can knock you on your ass at the most inopportune time.
This is why I'd like to recommend scheduling self-care. I know that it's easy to get into a routine and work yourself to the bones...but you have to be able to take a break, accept some help, and rest your mind before you jump back into the fray. Sometimes self-care looks like a spa day, a night out with friends, or even just a moment alone. I was telling hubs the other day that I had not been alone in our house with zero responsibility for another living being since I was pregnant...it's crazy to consider that! But I have been getting out to return to some of the things that I love, such as date night with hubs, a couple of nights out with a dear friend, and even some spa time with my mom.
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| awesome pop-up bar in the city I went to! |
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| the Cherry Blossom side of the pop-up bar. |
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| I even got to see John Mayer in concert! |
Sometimes, when a community is not ready-made to support you, you have to reach out and build your own. And you have to be able to accept help. Making that connection by accepting a little help can open up some doors for not just a possible babysitter in the future, but also some fellowship time with other ladies who know the struggle of a mom. That moment of clarity with another person in your shoes can be such a relief; it's that feeling when you know someone else is having the same anxiety and concerns as you, and it can actually lower your own stress just knowing you aren't alone. I know most of my female friends and family members are legit superwomen- I was raised by one, for sure- but you can accept a helping hand and you're still a superwoman. In fact, you can be better than before, because you can finally get something done now that you've been revived!!!
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| "Daddy and I agree- Mommy's the Boss" LOL |
You don't have to feel guilty for giving yourself a break, even if the break you need is from your own sweet little baby. I love my son. I mean, look at that kid; how could I not? But sometimes I do need a break, and Daddy or Glamma or his Grands need some quality time, too, and I use that time to relax without worrying about him falling, or mouthing something he shouldn't, or his well-being in general. I can focus on myself. And absence makes the heart grow fonder, so when I see my little nugget again after an evening away, I am so happy and grateful to see him!!
That's why I make time in advance, to ensure I get that time for myself that ends up benefiting my whole family. If it isn't on the calendar, it's not likely to happen on the fly, since we all get busy and it's easy to be swamped by your day-to-day routine. I'm the main one scheduling our days, anyway... why not schedule for myself!
So: go text your BFF. Or make a spa appointment. Or tell Daddy/Grandpa/Grandma to take the nugget to the park for an hour. Or leave that little bundle of joy at his/her daycare for an extra hour. Find a way to take that time to rejuvenate yourself so you can jump back into the fray and be the best you!
With relaxed love,
Big A.
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